Essentials about menopause

If you are reading this article, it is likely you, a loved one, or a friend, is not what they use to be. Changes are happening, unexpectedly, slowly but a bit more frequently. The body temperature is like a thermostat in disarray, dysregulated, and annoyingly obvious.  A type of Jekyll and Hyde mood pattern is setting in; one moment so lovely and tender next moment taken by monstrous rage. The 3 am insomnia o’clock and toilet visits are becoming so common that you wonder if you will ever sleep again.  The next morning the fatigue is so overwhelming that you now wonder if you are suffering from an undiagnosed disease, maybe so serious that is life-threatening. The next thing that becomes very apparent is that you cannot do the things you use to do, the automatic things like juggling housework, professional life, marital affairs, and stress at work all at once. Well, that is exactly what the menopause transition feels like. It is always advised to consult your doctor to override the possibility of serious health issues, however, if you are passed your 35 years old it could be perimenopause symptoms.

My first encounter with the idea of ‘maybe I am perimenopausal’ started with the 3 am awake nuisances. I was in my 40s, but I just had a baby, I am young and feeling like I am in my 30s, enjoying my career and work. I did not see it coming, or to be more precise, I did not believe it would happen to me. Because menopause is for ‘old women’, and I am not old. I am glad I had this experience now and was able to research and have the opportunity to be exposed to a lot of information. My training as a psychotherapist and psychologist helped me to understand my difficulty in managing my menopause symptoms, in my case, it required working on acceptance and normalisation. Acceptance of these natural processes and feeling in control of my narrative about being an older woman, and what it means to me. A normalisation of this biological process that cannot be separated from my psychological being.

I work with beautiful, strong, successful, empowered women that have shared the same roadblock as me. They were grappling with the social stereotype of the ugly, evil witch, the older women in the fairy tale, envious and bitter about the youth they no longer have. In my personal and professional experience, it is the unsaid influence of social ideals, the mythical societal framework affecting their deep beliefs about femininity and womanhood clashing with their ideal version of themselves.

Here are some essentials about menopause:

1.    Menopause transition is not only for old women; it is challenging and transformative and it can also be beautiful.

2.    Female life expectancy is an average of 80-85 years. Women spend an average of half of their adult lives in dialogue with menopause symptoms and about a third of their whole life in the post-menopause stage. Transitioning well will help you to live a healthier and more fulfilled life.

3.    Information, information, and more information. Each woman will experience menopause differently, the biological symptoms vary accordingly to your lifestyle, genetic disposition, and social environment. Your psychological makeup will also inform how you cope with the symptoms and how you manage your relationship with yourself and others.

4.    Hormonal Replacement Therapy (HRT) helps but it is not a magical solution. It will not address the many aspects of the menopause experience. Weight gain and self-esteem need to be addressed elsewhere. There are some benefits and risks that you need to consider carefully and talk to your help professional until you feel you made an informed decision. An informed decision is a decision that takes into consideration not only the medical point of view but your personal values and aspiration.

5.    Lifestyle will become more prominent in managing menopause symptoms. It will become harder to ignore the impact of poor health behaviours. As your energy levels start to decrease and the multitask superpower shows its cracks, learning to prioritise yourself and your self-care routine will be lifesaving.

There is a lot of general information available and I will share it here. Look for information that comes from reputable sources, and see how that information relates to your experience. The first step is gathering the information that connects to questions and your experience. Forget about your friend, neighbour, or sister’s experience. It is your journey, you are unique, and you are the expert on yourself.

Take care,

Micheli Romão

ShootingStar Wellness Centre

https://thebms.org.uk/

https://www.womens-health-concern.org/help-and-advice/factsheets/

https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/